WTF

What the hell is wrong with people? I find myself constantly at a loss for words with people. I don't understand why people would do the things they do. Do they think it's funny? Do they get some sick pleasure out of saying or doing certain things? Maybe that's why I want to be a Psychologist. I want to try and figure out what the hell is wrong with people. Is it the constant need to bring other's down so they feel less inferior? All I know is that I am so sick of all the jerks (I'm trying to keep myself edited here) in the world. I really wish I could take certain things onto myself so others wouldn't have to deal with it. I wish so much that all my friends could be happy in this world. I know that without the bad, the good wouldn't be as good, but seriously there has to be some kind of limit. I know I can't have everything, but could my friends at least be happy? That would be enough for me. I wish I could eliminate the effect of the ugliness of this world on my friends. Unfortunately I can't. All I can do is offer them support when the need it.

People really should learn to mind their own business. I know it sounds a little strange after what I just said but it's honestly the truth. I don't get involved in anything unless people ask to talk to me about stuff. Even then I offer my advice and let what happens happens. When people start putting themselves in the middle of things, it only makes things worse. More people just end up getting pissed because they feel the need to defend their friends. Don't F with other people's friends. It's not right.

I really wish people would grow up and just become all together better people. No one is going to like someone who puts others down. People should think before they say stuff. For once think about how it will effect those around you. I know I'm not perfect, I'm no where near perfect. But at least I try to consider how others will react to what I say. People just seriously need to mature a little and stop trying to control everything. You can't, people control their own lives. DEAL WITH IT!

Sorry to go on a rant but seriously I'm so sick of all this BS. If people wanted your opinion they would ask. It's not okay to insult people no matter what. Don't think you know everything and can control everything. Above all, don't F with people I am close to. It really pisses me off.

(This isn't just about one person by the way, this is about multiple things and multiple people)

I'M FINE

Seriously I'm ok now. Stop worrying. If I need/want to talk about it I will. Everything is okay now.

The Goddess

Is officially pissed off. A totally relaxing snow day just turned into a shit storm. The worst part is I can't talk to anyone about it. I can't remember the last time I was this pissed. How the hell do certain people get my number? Do they have a special radar that beeps whenever I am actually happy so they know when to come and screw everything up? Why do they feel the need to keep showing up and messing my life up more? They already f'ed up my life that should be enough. This whole thing is going to get worse before it gets better... wish me luck

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

Depressing Mood...

Kinda in a sad mood, not sure why...

Why can't it be me....

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do"
-Dale Carnegie

Wow

I don't even really know what to say...

Last night was so amazing. I love being able to just act crazy and not be judged or be looked at like I'm crazy. It was also nice to have people go crazy right along with me.

Between the jelly things, pachinko, monkies, cubers, Vrooke, Chrus, waxing his car?, and I'm sure there's more but we'll just leave it at that.

I freakin love you guys.

"Humor is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them."
-Lewis Mumford

Revelation

What do you do when you look around and realize your life isn't what you expected it to be? You look around and things that you thought would stay the same are suddenly totally different. Things you thought were going to be different are really the same. People that you thought were always going to be there aren't and those you thought would never be there are always there. It is really strange and slightly scary. You realize your dreams have changed, your thoughts have changed, and everything you thought you wanted does not matter. It's like coming to a cross road only not. A cross road has two clear options, you either go one way or the other. This is more like standing in front of the flight departure board at an airport. Where shall I go? Bangkok, Beijing, Egypt, London, Paris, Italy? So many choices, how can you ever know which one is right? It's like when you realize life isn't what you expected. You can change it, let it keep going, re-evaluate, change some things, drop things, or just simply not care. I'm not sure which way is right or whether or not it will actually be a good thing or whether it will be easy. All I know is that there's no way to go but forward.

"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want."
-Ben Stein

"Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you."
-Wally "Famous" Amos

Non-Cryptic

Cullen, I'm not being cryptic.

There you go!!

Happiness

I LOVE MY FRIENDS SO MUCH AND I AM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!!!

"Do not walk in behind me, I may not lead. Do not walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
-Unknown

Well...

Well when it rains it pours.

"The words that enlighten the soul are more precious then jewels."
-Hazrat Inayat Khan

"Just because you are blind, and unable to see my beauty doesn't mean it does not exist."
-Margaret Cho

Thinking...

For this blog I decided to just share some of my favorite quotes that reflect how I'm feeling, enjoy:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. "

"For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit... start whenever you want... you can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."
-Benjamin Button

I Don't Know...

A lot of things have been on my mind lately. I don't even really want to talk about everything that's on my mind because I doubt people would understand but I guess I will mention a few things but keep it somewhat vague.

I don't like when others insult my opinion. Most of the time people don't realize they are doing it but it happens and it irritates me. I know that some may not understand my opinion or agree with it which is fine, but please don't insult it. I try to keep an open mind with everything and everyone and try not to walk all over what others believe. I'm not asking people to agree with me, that would be boring, I'm just asking that people respect that it's my opinion. If people truly care about me as a person then why do they insist on dragging my belief through the dirt? Again I understand that people don't always agree which again is fine, I just wish people wouldn't insult me by insulting my opinion.

Anothing thing that has kind of been bothering me is that I don't handle some situations correctly. I guess this is my fault but all I can say is I'm sorry. I don't always know what to do. I'm not perfect, I'm no where near perfect. I know there are times when I need to speak up and other times when i need to keep my mouth shut. I can't always make the right choice at the right time. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself but I will say that I've been drained mentally and emotionally lately and find it easier to just not think. That doesn't make it right, it's just the truth. I'm sorry if people get pissed at me because of it but I just don't really know what else to do. Again I apologize for whatever I did or didn't do.

My last thing that I will say that is serious is that I am dealing with things right now that I have decided to not tell anyone. No one knows what I am going through right now because I choose not to have anyone know. I am keeping things to myself and dealing with them myself because I feel that's best right now. I know others are dealing with issues so nobody needs to worry about my issues either. I just push it aside whenever I'm around people so no one expects it and just enjoy the moment.

I'll end on a semi-happy note. With everything that has happened, I am still surprisingly happy. I'm sorry if others aren't and I wish I could help but sometimes you just have to find your own happiness. I really find happiness in little things; the blueness of the sky, the comfort of my bed, the laughter of my friends, a funny joke, getting a question right in class, understanding a debate, the memories of fun times, the smell of my favorite scent, and numerous other little things. I find that these things make things better. As stupid as it is, it is true. There are crappy things going on but I try to not let those completely take over my life because then I'm giving those things too much power. As hard as it is, sometimes I just have to let things go and move on with my life. If people are up to take the journey with me then great, if not then I hope life is good to you.

I really do love my life and everyone in it.

"People are like stained glass windows; they sparkle and shine when the sun is out but when darkness sets it, their true beauty is seen only if there is a light within"
~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

So school starts back up for me tomorrow... crap. Oh well at the rate I'm going I will graduate early :D. I realize I'm in a deep philosophical mood, anyone else or is it just me?

Quote of the Post:

"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."
-Emerson

My First Ramble; Be Afraid

So this is my first one and I feel I should make it a good one, crap. Well since I have been on break of from school I have done a lot of thinking (dun dun dun). I've realized I'm actually pretty content with my life, not really anything to complain about so I wont. I have realized that there are some negatives in my life but oh well. It happens. I've realized there are some people that are just straight up negative things. It's just the way of the world. It sometimes seems impossible to avoid such negative parts of life but by golly I'm trying my damndest. That's right I just used "golly" and "damn" in the same sentence. I am actually a pretty positive person right now. I actually look on the bright side of life and I actually wake up excited to see what happens that day. There are also moments when I just sit and laugh at all the dumb ass stuff that goes on. It really makes me giggle. Well I honestly don't really know what else to say so I shall end this now but before I go I shall leave all you children with a quote:

“Life can only be understood looking backward. It must be lived forward.”
-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button