I Don't Know...

A lot of things have been on my mind lately. I don't even really want to talk about everything that's on my mind because I doubt people would understand but I guess I will mention a few things but keep it somewhat vague.

I don't like when others insult my opinion. Most of the time people don't realize they are doing it but it happens and it irritates me. I know that some may not understand my opinion or agree with it which is fine, but please don't insult it. I try to keep an open mind with everything and everyone and try not to walk all over what others believe. I'm not asking people to agree with me, that would be boring, I'm just asking that people respect that it's my opinion. If people truly care about me as a person then why do they insist on dragging my belief through the dirt? Again I understand that people don't always agree which again is fine, I just wish people wouldn't insult me by insulting my opinion.

Anothing thing that has kind of been bothering me is that I don't handle some situations correctly. I guess this is my fault but all I can say is I'm sorry. I don't always know what to do. I'm not perfect, I'm no where near perfect. I know there are times when I need to speak up and other times when i need to keep my mouth shut. I can't always make the right choice at the right time. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself but I will say that I've been drained mentally and emotionally lately and find it easier to just not think. That doesn't make it right, it's just the truth. I'm sorry if people get pissed at me because of it but I just don't really know what else to do. Again I apologize for whatever I did or didn't do.

My last thing that I will say that is serious is that I am dealing with things right now that I have decided to not tell anyone. No one knows what I am going through right now because I choose not to have anyone know. I am keeping things to myself and dealing with them myself because I feel that's best right now. I know others are dealing with issues so nobody needs to worry about my issues either. I just push it aside whenever I'm around people so no one expects it and just enjoy the moment.

I'll end on a semi-happy note. With everything that has happened, I am still surprisingly happy. I'm sorry if others aren't and I wish I could help but sometimes you just have to find your own happiness. I really find happiness in little things; the blueness of the sky, the comfort of my bed, the laughter of my friends, a funny joke, getting a question right in class, understanding a debate, the memories of fun times, the smell of my favorite scent, and numerous other little things. I find that these things make things better. As stupid as it is, it is true. There are crappy things going on but I try to not let those completely take over my life because then I'm giving those things too much power. As hard as it is, sometimes I just have to let things go and move on with my life. If people are up to take the journey with me then great, if not then I hope life is good to you.

I really do love my life and everyone in it.

"People are like stained glass windows; they sparkle and shine when the sun is out but when darkness sets it, their true beauty is seen only if there is a light within"
~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross